Loving and trusting myself are two things that I constantly struggle to do as a mother.
It’s easy for me to go to bed feeling like a failure.
I recount all that happened in terms of moods, sharing, nutrition, naps…
And all my efforts seem horribly inadequate.
I question if I’m disciplining right…
Too much? Not enough?
Are my expectations too high? Too low?
Was I too distracted? Or too indulgent?

Unfortunately, the answer that usually comes is a disheartened…
“I don’t even know.”
Followed by…
“I’m probably ruining my child.”
“I’m the worst… why did I think I could do this.”

I’m due with my second baby in just a few short weeks,
And this year, I can’t help but think about Mary.
Was she ever afraid?
Overwhelmed?
Unsure and insecure because of her own inadequacies?

I feel an immense weight to raise well the children God has given me.
What could she have felt raising His literal Son?
That perfect, most influential and essential Son…

My friend Tanner Townsend just released a song called “Love Yourself.”
I love the lyrics.
They describe so simply what I’ve found best reassures and sustains me…
And what I assume gave Mary the strength and courage to fulfill her remarkable role as the Mother of Christ.

Prayer.
Prayer invites the spirit into our lives…
And as we hear that “still small voice” we begin to know that God is near—
That we are infinitely precious to Him and His perfect Son.
That although we may not know how to do and be all that we feel called to in life…
He loves, trusts and believes in us,
So maybe it’s time for us to start doing the same.

I’m slowly coming to know that my flaws are forgivable.
My mistakes make me teachable.
And God’s trust in me proves me capable.

Prayer has brought heightened vision and hope for the mother I am and can be.