How do you feel when you wake up each morning?
Like you can’t wait to welcome the new day??
Or does dread give you a good slap as consciousness surfaces?
Dread has prevailed upon me too many mornings the last few months.
(How many days can I really entertain these kids??
With nowhere to go, nothing to do and no one to see?)
I have had to learn the hard way, once again,
that I can’t let circumstances dictate my feelings—
or I’ll waste a whole lot of life in misery.
I have to look beyond circumstance and search for
PRINCIPLE.
Peace. Progression. Perspective.
Meaning. Rest. Connection.
Confidence. Love. Joy.
These are principles I find myself consistently longing for.
When I write them down,
it seems obvious I’m probably not unique in my longings.
Isn’t that what most of us desire?
The great and terrible thing about humanity,
Is that we have the power to invite those principles to work in our lives..
Or the power to deny them and suffer the consequences.
I have had times and seasons where I have become a bystander..
Allowing life to happen to me.
As Uchtdorf says,
“Preferring comfort and ease over growth and progress.”
Being a victim of circumstance rather than an agent of action.
Although that can seem, at first, easy and enticing..
There is no peace, nor progression.
There is a skewed and tainted perspective.
I lack meaning and struggle to find motivation and purpose.
I spin my wheels without satisfaction,
Taking away the thrill and rejuvenation of intentional rest.
Anxiety overwhelms my capacities
And connection becomes improbable,
If not impossible.
I am filled with insecurity and self-loathing—
Crippling my ability to love deeply,
Or experience true joy and fulfillment.
I have also had times and seasons where I have chosen to engage with life.
To “incline [my] heart to God”.
To seek truth.
To develop talents.
To serve.
To welcome new experiences.
To repent.
To live in gratitude.
To work.
To be present in each moment.
To laugh.
To endure hardship with character.
To forgive.
To sing, in essence,
“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
(Invictus, William Ernest Henley)
Have you felt the thrill of living in principle?
My first year of college was a season I chose to do so.
Untapped potential ached in me,
I regretted letting fear hold me back from thriving.
So I made up my mind to evolve.
To embrace the impressions that came.
As a result, I signed up for a Singing 101 class.
I thought it would be like choir—
Where we are given some sheet music and rehearse as a group.
I discovered during my first class that it was more of a soloist endeavor..
Which seemed unconcerning to the 20 or so other students.
I quickly realized this was because they were all, at least, average singers.
I, however, was practically tone deaf.
Our first assignment was to choose a hymn that we would perform a cappella.
I probably practiced that song 1,000 times.
I realized that, if I could just hit the first note,
I could stay (for the most part) on pitch for the rest of the song.
But if I began a little flat or sharp,
It was impossible for my untrained ear to recover.
As I walked up to face my first performance,
I panicked.
Projecting my imminent doom in my mind..
I can’t do this. I’m going to fail.
The first note wasn’t just flat—
But so horrendously off that it shocked me the moment it left my mouth.
From then on, I wished I could crawl under a rock and die.
Sweat started from every pore.
My voice cracking and shrieking as I fumbled through verse after verse.
My body shaking like an old washing machine.
All the while, involuntary tears streaming down both cheeks.
It felt like the same humiliation experienced in every naked nightmare.
I thought about never going back.
Taking the failing grade and hoping I never saw any of those faces again.
But after it was all over,
And I realized I was still alive..
Something strange and new overtook me,
And I decided, I had never felt so alive!
Despite the horror, the adrenaline and humiliation was also..
Thrilling.
I did something hard.
Something I never imagined I’d do,
but always wished I would.
And the greatest truth of it all—
I could only go UP from there.
I showed up.
Again and again.
I tried.
Again and again.
I embarrassed myself.
Again and again..
But progress, however microscopic, did happen.
For our final performance of the year,
I chose the song, “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz.
It seemed fitting, an anthem to my efforts.
I didn’t invite any of my family or friends like the rest of the class..
But I got on that stage and owned my performance.
I’m sure that it was pitchy and less than mediocre.
But I felt like a champion!
My entire class jumped to their feet and gave me a standing ovation..
Not because of any skill,
just because of the growth, confidence, and effort.
They supported me through my struggle and cheered me on.
I couldn’t suppress the joy of that moment.
I floated off the stage with a wide smile on my face.
It has become one of my most most cherished memories.
I learned then, and countless times since then,
it is always worth pursuing my impressions.
The inclinations we have to develop ourselves and help others..
are DIVINE.
They are the reason we exist.
We are that we might have joy, (2 Nephi 2:25)
that we might become as God is.
This thrilling, ascending journey is discipleship.
The richest journey life can offer.
A journey in principle.
What have you put off, quit, ignored or avoided because of fear?
“If you hesitate in this adventure because you doubt your ability, remember that discipleship is not about doing things perfectly; it’s about doing things intentionally. It is your choices that show what you truly are, far more than your abilities.” -Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Are you everything you could be?
What is holding you back?
Two scriptures about the Savior have struck me lately—
I sense that if I could just believe and embrace these principles,
my life would change significantly
I could become a “new creature” (2 Cor. 5:17)
filled with all the longings of my heart.
“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
The divinity within us longs for the abundant life Christ offers.
Our spirit knows all that we could be,
Just as Christ and our Heavenly Parents know.
They are all inviting us on the journey of discipleship..
Because that is where abundance is found.
And the beauty is, it is available to all of us, all the time.
No matter our pain, sins, weaknesses or regrets.
We have the power to live in principle, because of Jesus Christ.
Because of His atonement.
“He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.” (Mosiah 16:9)
I love this depiction of the Savior!
A light and life that is endless..
The word endless implies so much.
Obviously, His eternal nature and glory.
But also, with an endless supply of light and life..
He has SO MUCH he can offer EVERY ONE OF US.
Christ is a resource that can’t be exhausted or expired.
Isn’t it remarkable that we all have access to
perfect love,
unfathomable light,
eternal life?
Why aren’t we using this great atoning gift more fully and intentionally?
Maybe we doubt.
Maybe we’re afraid.
Maybe we don’t believe that power could really apply to us.
Maybe we don’t want to let go of sin.
Maybe we lack the desire.
Maybe we prefer comfort and ease.
Maybe we don’t know how.
Whatever holds you back,
know that it can be overcome with the help of the Master.
“[We] can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [us].” (Philippians 4:13)
Discipleship is worth every effort.
Your abundant life, “Your Great Adventure”, is calling.
I invite you to accept Uchtdorf’s invitation.
“Incline Your Hearts to God”
Pray, seek, study..
Answers will come through the words of prophets,
ancient and modern
and through the Holy Ghost.
You will know where to begin and how to move forward.
His promise,
“Along the way you will discover yourself.
You will discover meaning.
You will discover God.
You will discover the most adventurous and glorious journey of your life.”
This was a lesson I wrote for my church Sisters,
based off of the following talk “Your Great Adventure”
by Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
You can read it by following the link below.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2019/10/media/6092703651001?lang=eng